I’m all for New Year’s resolutions but most of the fashion ones you’ll see are veiled attempts to get you to buy stuff from advertisers or rope you in to some new trend. But my list won’t cost you a penny.
The reason I like New Year’s resolutions is because I’m always striving to be a better person. I want to be a better man, a better husband, a better father. But what does this, a list of style resolutions, have to do with being a better person?
My 6-year-old son often asks me “Why do you like to dress so fancy?” And I always have the same answer: I believe that dressing well is part of leading a more thoughtful life and thinking about what effect I have on others. Society is a give and take and I’d rather give. Dressing well is also a sign of my confidence and belief in myself.
That said, if you don’t dress well you are not necessarily disrespectful. Today, wearing whatever you want is the baseline, the norm. You’re not necessarily contributing to the world around you, but you’re not detracting from it either. It is social apathy. But making an effort to dress well takes you up a step. I firmly believe that when I make the effort to dress well, it signifies that I will make the effort to be a better person too.
So if you are ready to take that next step…
Find a style icon
To find your own sense of style, start by learning from other men. In our grandfather’s time, you only had to look outside to see well-dressed men. Don’t try that now. Instead, the web is a treasure trove of inspiration. I’d suggest finding someone, Golden-age Hollywood or contemporary rake, who has a style sense that you admire. Study them as much as you can. Pore over photos and interviews. And then make it your own.
The always rakishly dressed Cary Grant, style icon to many men.
Start watching a show with well dressed men
Another way to find inspiration is TV. I’ve watched a number of shows with well dressed guys – Downton Abbey (1920s), Mad Men (1960s), Suits (contemporary) – and often I don’t even pay attention to the plot. I’m watching for the clothes. What do I like and not like? What aspects can I bring into my own wardrobe?
Downton Abbey’s occasional dandy, Matthew Crawley.
Dress with intent
Instead of throwing on whatever clothes happen to be around, take a few moments to consider what you are wearing. Do the items work well together? Can you combine elements in a unique way? What image of yourself do you want to convey today? And don’t be daunted by a three-piece suit: start with something as simple as a jacket and a pair of chinos.
Always dress for the occasion
The next step is to think about what you’re doing once you’re dressed. Remember being a little kid and putting on a suit for the first time, for a wedding or special party? The suit was probably uncomfortable and you took off the jacket soon as you started running around with your friends. But that ritual of putting on something different imbued the event with a specialness and uniqueness, different from every day life. If you wear the same clothes whether you are grocery shopping, going out for dinner or at a wedding, you are cheating yourself of that feeling.
How I dress for a backyard cigar with a friend.
Get used to dressing well
I wore my tuxedo to a New Year’s party last week. Most of the guys there were in jeans and untucked shirts. Instead of berating me for being over-dressed, a few of the guys said: “I wish I could be as stylish as you.” Part of this is because I know how to wear a tuxedo: the type of shirt, the bow tie, the shirt studs, the pocket square. It took me a long time to get here, and I’m still learning, through many hours of reading and looking. But also just wearing the stuff. If you only wear a suit or jacket once a year, when you do wear it, you’ll look stiff and out of place. Since I “dress up” practically every day, the feel of a suit is so familiar, I can feel confident no matter what I’m doing. And that is true style.
Educate yourself
I’ve always wanted to dress better, but in my 20s, I knew I was doing it wrong. I hadn’t learned from my dad what shoes to wear with what jacket, or how to tie a tie, so I looked shabby instead of elegant. The rules of men’s style are like a secret code, and I think that intimidates and puts off a lot of guys. But once you start educating yourself about the why’s and how’s, you’ll see that these rules are there for very good reasons, which usually revolve around what makes the male body look its best. Start with a trip to the library and the books of G. Bruce Boyer and Alan Flusser.
Learn to take care of your wardrobe
And then there’s the very practical form of education when it comes to clothes. Learning to take care of your clothes helps you understand your wardrobe almost better than wearing it. Learning to polish your shoes, sew a button or brush a suit helps connect you to the visceral, physical nature of your clothes. You’ll develop a better understanding of quality and how things are made. All of that together will help build your confidence in what you’re wearing.
Thank you for the most meaningful Resolutions post I’ve seen thus far in 2015,
A question, if I may. If one wears a jacket and shirt, as shown in the third picture down, is there a rule of thumb for buttoned or unbuttoned? I tend to fasten the top button, but have been reproved by a friend who says one should only button a jacket of doing something formal, like giving a speech. Me, I prefer the buttoned look as it seems neater. Is this a non-issue? Simply a matter or personal preference?
Thank you for the kinds words, Michael. As to your question, it is personal preference. I usually keep the button of my jacket done up when I’m standing or walking because it helps to cover my waist and the jacket looks better. However, I always unbutton when I sit or if it’s particularly warm.
Michael, I would like to share with you what I know: there’s no point having a tailored jacket if you leave it unbuttoned.
Why? Because the jacket is tailored to be buttoned, so that’s when you’ll get all the benefits of it’s shape: the broad shoulders, the narrower waist; that build up the elegant silhouette. If you unbutton it, it flaps around and you lose the shape.
Of course, you should unbutton it when sitting, so you don’t strain the fabric and the threads (it’s also more comfortable). The exception is a double-breasted jacket, which you leave buttoned because the extra fabric allows you to do so.
I hope this helps, cheers.
The great thing about an ongoing sartorial education is that it’s a journey, not a destination. As such, it yields satisfying rewards every step of the way.
5 Comments
Michael
January 7, 2015 at 3:32 pm
Pedro Mendes
January 7, 2015 at 7:56 pm
Peter B
May 4, 2016 at 4:42 pm
Peter Marshall
January 8, 2015 at 1:34 pm
Forrest Howe
October 14, 2016 at 4:46 pm
Thank you for the most meaningful Resolutions post I’ve seen thus far in 2015,
A question, if I may. If one wears a jacket and shirt, as shown in the third picture down, is there a rule of thumb for buttoned or unbuttoned? I tend to fasten the top button, but have been reproved by a friend who says one should only button a jacket of doing something formal, like giving a speech. Me, I prefer the buttoned look as it seems neater. Is this a non-issue? Simply a matter or personal preference?
Thank you for the kinds words, Michael. As to your question, it is personal preference. I usually keep the button of my jacket done up when I’m standing or walking because it helps to cover my waist and the jacket looks better. However, I always unbutton when I sit or if it’s particularly warm.
Michael, I would like to share with you what I know: there’s no point having a tailored jacket if you leave it unbuttoned.
Why? Because the jacket is tailored to be buttoned, so that’s when you’ll get all the benefits of it’s shape: the broad shoulders, the narrower waist; that build up the elegant silhouette. If you unbutton it, it flaps around and you lose the shape.
Of course, you should unbutton it when sitting, so you don’t strain the fabric and the threads (it’s also more comfortable). The exception is a double-breasted jacket, which you leave buttoned because the extra fabric allows you to do so.
I hope this helps, cheers.
Timeless advice, Pedro.
The great thing about an ongoing sartorial education is that it’s a journey, not a destination. As such, it yields satisfying rewards every step of the way.
Well said. You have a great vehicle for the journey in Black Tie Guide.